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fuck george dub-yah
- Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 17:23:10 (CST)
Dear Tech Support: In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.
Can you please help me !!!???

Thanks,
Dave

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Dear Dave,
This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.
Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child support." I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.
I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not; under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,
Tech Support
dave
- Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 14:54:22 (CST)

Have you met Haystack Calhoun? He was a mountain of a man! I sent him home to Mommy with a rollin' DDT! How about Gorgeous George? Keith "Wild Moon" McDaniel? Leaping Lanny? Wildfire Tommy Ritz? They all fell victim to my credit! Purple, nurple, Jerry Belly, oh yeah!

granddad ghostal
- Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 12:22:11 (CST)
Shut your pie hole, Blip! Why, twenty years ago I woulda put your head in a half nelson, twisted it around, saying each letter of the alphabet on every turn, and then when I reached the first letter of my true love's name, it would be the lovely Elizabeth, I would yank your head clean off and roll it down the pike like a bowling ball!
Grandpa Ghostal
- Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 10:08:03 (CST)

666
- Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 09:13:25 (CST)

madd screech skillz, y0
abe
- Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 00:55:26 (CST)
where's the snipers when you need'em?
h
- Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 20:08:04 (CST)

sorry

abe
- Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 01:27:57 (CST)

unruly (george w.) bush

epilektric
- Monday, October 28, 2002 at 17:51:40 (CST)

paf is a fucking mnvibe postwhore

abe
- Monday, October 28, 2002 at 11:25:56 (CST)
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pussyassholeface
- Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 17:19:28 (CST)
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pussyassholeface
- Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 17:18:32 (CST)
unruly bush

- Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 16:54:22 (CST)
Hairyless Drew Barrymore?
One day while vacationing with Tom Green and Charlie's Angels co-star Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore decided to go for a bikini wax. Why?
"I thought about everyone else on the trip and how much more considerate it would be for them so they wouldn't have to look at my unruly bush," she explained. "They're nice pubes, and I felt kind of sacrilegious removing them but I just thought, you know, they should remain private under my bikini rather than acting like they're in a line to get into a rave, but they're never really getting in!"
mint
- Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 16:53:21 (CST)
Holy shit the Vikings know how to play as a team!!!! : : Next Sat a fun filled night of Wood and Floss
lucy
- Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 15:08:47 (CST)

samh
- Sunday, October 27, 2002 at 00:19:26 (CDT)
redriverrising
Steven Q. Steve
- Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 01:10:41 (CDT)
redriverrising
Steven Q. Steve
- Saturday, October 26, 2002 at 01:10:23 (CDT)
INDIA AND PAKISTAN SHOULDN’T NUKE EACH OTHER I’m madder than a swami on a rusty bed of nails at how India and Pakistan are always fixing to start a nuclear war and blow each other to Kingdom Come! For crying out loud, no one I know can even tell an Indian and a Pakistani apart. I’ve been going to the same convenience store for the last nine years and I still don’t know whether Ali the clerk is from India or Pakistan. And guess what, folks? I don’t care either. Sure, sure, one bunch has those crazy dots on their heads and the other doesn’t, but who has the time or energy to keep that straight? And believe you me, the average American isn’t nearly as “with it” as I am. Why, just a few weeks ago, the Weekly World News summer intern Vijay, who’s an exchange student from Calcutta, was over at the house mowing our lawn. My wife Thelma Jean, bless her soul, said to him, “You’re such a nice Indian boy. When are you going to find a squaw and settle down?” And that’s a lady who had a year and half of junior college, for Pete’s sake. The same thing goes for China and Japan. They’ve been at each other’s throats for hundreds of years, but put one of each of ’em in the same room and I defy you to tell me which is which. Hell, they’re both just as likely to try to cook and eat your cat. Take the Turks and Greeks, who are always getting ready to go to war over that tiny rock of an island Crete, don’t ask me why. They look and sound alike, eat the same kind of food you can’t pronounce the names of — and if I was at a YMCA in either of those countries, I wouldn’t drop the soap in the shower. The Arabs and Israelis both have that Danny Thomas look — switch the yarmulkes and the towels and you can’t tell who’s who unless you order them to drop trousers for a circumcision check. But what really gets me so pig-biting mad is how the Irish Protestants and Catholics keep killing each other off and hating each other so bad. Yet they all like to say “Top of the morning to you,” love to go get bombed at the pub, and they all believe in those nutty leprechauns. The way I see it, if all the races that are at war with each other would realize that they’re not so different from the people they’re fighting against, then we wouldn’t have all these problems. If even a cranky old man like me can figure that one out, maybe there’s still hope for the rest of the human race.
ed anger
- Friday, October 25, 2002 at 04:13:02 (CDT)
you are a nigger.

- Friday, October 25, 2002 at 01:00:42 (CDT)
berg is a dirty whore!!!!!!

abe
- Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 00:13:00 (CDT)
visit the
laboratory today.

samh
- Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 12:50:28 (CDT)

new news!- steve has denounced the ways of flavor country and run to become a nun, as seen here in this shocking photo.
epilektric
- Monday, October 21, 2002 at 14:58:51 (CDT)

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